But Sir, The Large Popcorn Is Only 75 Cents More….

I go to the movies a lot, on average 4 or 5 times a month. And I do the whole soda and candy thing (I’m not a popcorn guy); sometimes I may even get some actual food depending on the theater. Hey, don’t turn your nose up at me, there are some nice theaters out there with decent food. I even know of one with a full restaurant-caliber menu, as a matter of fact. While I often go during the day, even matinee prices are only a buck or two off of the full price anyhow so it barely even matters. So basically, my average trip to the movies can run me $20-$30 when you factor in treating my girlfriend (although she often pitches in). So how do I feel about that? Just fine, thanks. And if you are the type to complain about how the moviegoing experience is too expensive, I’d like to say a few things in defense of a pastime that I still thoroughly enjoy, and one that I feel that no amount of at-home technical gadgetry can ever duplicate.    

You may or may not share the sentiments that ended the last paragraph, but the fact of the matter is that going to the movies is not that expensive, and I find it amusing the ways that people use to exaggerate how much movies actually cost. For starters, the average movie ticket these days falls in the $8-$10 range. Obviously there are exceptions going both ways, but I think we can all accept $9 as the cost of a movie for the sake of arguement from here on out. So, for $9 you get 2 hours of entertainment, which includes both the movie and previews of upcoming movies (which beats watching them on YouTube). Now, how many other things can you think of where you go out and only spend 9 bucks and are totally covered for 2 whole hours? Certainly you’d be hard-pressed to only spend that much at a bar in 2 hours, even if you don’t drink (unless of course you are one of these girls who goes out and makes it a point not to bring any money, expecting to be bought drinks all night, in which case I don’t much care what you think about anything, truth be told). A lot of bars and clubs will cost you at least that just to get in the door. What if you were to spend 2 hours in a mall? I think we can all agree that it would be quite a proud accomplishment to shop for that long and be out less than $9. Oh, and let’s not forget that if you are doing something in a big city, chances are you’re either going to cab it or have to pay to park somewhere, and we all know how hard those two things hit the wallet (yes, a lot of theaters charge to park these days too, but I’ll get to the extra charges in a minute). So what else do people do when they “go out”? Miniature golf? Bowling? Casino? Concert? Poker at a friend’s house? Sporting event? Strip club? Bingo? Tell me 2 hours doing any of those things aren’t easily going to set you back at least $9. The point I’m trying to hammer home here is that, in today’s world, a movie ticket is still quite reasonable – even at $9 – for the amount of entertainment you are getting.

Now, if you want to talk about movie quality, certainly some movies are going to feel more worth the money than others. But just about anything you do when you go out can end up being lame. Is paying full price for a crappy movie so much worse than spending $20 on a dinner that wasn’t very good or paying the cover to a club only to find out it’s dead and leave 10 minutes later? I just don’t see how bad movies rank as so much more of a blow to our hard-earned money than when any number of other comparable activies end up not being what you thought they’d be. I don’t hear nearly as much bellyaching about spending all night at a boring party where you spent more money than you can even count than people do about losing 9 measly dollars on an underwhelming movie. And if you really want to get into movie quality, I also don’t care to hear whining from people who exclusively see all the big Hollywood movies that are plastered all over buses and on TV every other commercial break. It isn’t exactly a new phenomenon that the average Hollywood movie is nothing special. So, if your time and money are so precious to you, venture beyond whatever is the hot movie on the front page of Yahoo and take a few minutes to read about a smaller movie. I’m not talking bizarre black-and-white subtitled French arthouse films; I just mean the more interesting and/or smaller-scoped flicks that weren’t “sure-fire” enough for the big money. They aren’t all as inaccessible as you might think. Napolean Dynamite, The Blair Witch Project, Swingers, Clerks…these are all movies that at one time were little indie movies that weren’t playing all over the place and relied mostly on word-of-mouth, and I don’t think anyone would call any of them too quirky or weird for the average moviegoer. And that’s a great place to start: Find movies you like, find other lesser-known movies with the the same writer, director, or actor(s) and go from there. There are a ton of quality movies out there, you just have to look for them. Plus, you’ll find that even the movies you don’t like will still at least be interesting, and you’ll still feel more fulfilled than if you saw a big-budget dud because you at least took a chance on something different - and maybe you’ll see a preview for another interesting-looking movie that you’ll end up loving.

Now we come to the part of the complainers argument that bothers me the most: adding anything and everything that isn’t the movie itself and counting that as the price of the movie. Fine, so you always got soda and popcorn. So I guess when you watch movies at home, you don’t eat while you’re watching them? Is NetFlix giving out free pizza with their movies now? I mean fair is fair: If candy, popcorn, and drinks count towards the cost of the movie, than those potato chips and those pizza rolls do, too. By all rights, anything you consume as part of your movie-watching experience must count towards the cost of that particular movie if that’s how you are going to do it with going to the theater. Sure, a can of Mountain Dew and a bowl of pretzels don’t cost nearly as much as theater snacks. But when you start really nitpicking in that way, plus the price of the mvoie rental (or purchase if you bought it outright), and the cost becomes a lot more comparable. And while we’re at it, what about your TV? What about your DVD, HD-DVD, or Blu-Ray player? What about your fancy-pants surround sound set-up? By all rights, these all count, as you all of this is part of your movie watching. So take the amount of money you spent on your entire home theater system, and divide it up evenly amongst all the movies you rent or buy. You’ll have to rent a whole lot of movies before you are able to say that you are spending less than $9 per movie.

Did all of those comparisons sound ridiculous? Well they are. But it’s ridiculous the other way, too. Is it fair to say a Big Mac costs $5 because you always get the Value Meal with it? Should you add coffee and donuts to the amount you spend to fill up your gas tank since you always get breakfast when you’re at the gas station? And speaking of gas, shouldn’t you just go ahead and factor in the cost of whatever gas you used when you go anywhere? The movie itself costs what it costs. Everything else is seperate. It is all optional. Because you simply can’t resist those Junior Mints doesn’t make it Iron Man’s fault. There is so much useless junk we throw wads of cash at on a daily basis; I just don’t see why movies are so much more evil than anything else. In a world where we spend $6 on coffee, $4 on a bottle of water, $40 on a t-shirt, or a $15 monthly fee to play a single video game, why do we suddenly pretend to be all thrifty and cost-conscious when it comes to a movie ticket?

Everything is expensive these days, and our paychecks don’t seem to keep up with the inflation like they are supposed to. Relatively speaking, movies are a bargin. Yeah, I said it: a bargin. You don’t have to agree with me. It’d be nice if I changed some minds, but if I didn’t, oh well. That’s one less fidgety person in the theater who doesn’t want to be there, ruining the experience for the rest of us who still enjoy and appreciate it.